The 5 Ss of Self-Care: Self-Compassion, Snuggles, Sunlight, Snoozing, and Self-Advocacy
Written by Kristi Yeh, LMFT and founder of Parent Self-Care
Self-care is not just a luxury; it is a necessary part of maintaining the physical and mental health of caregivers. But, it can be hard to figure out where to start with so many messages about how to take care of yourself online. Among the myriad of self-care practices available–and steering away from companies marketing expensive products that promise improved wellness–the 5 Ss of self-care can help ground parents and help them prioritize their well-being. Without further ado, let’s delve into the significance of self-compassion, snuggles, sunlight, snoozing, and self-advocacy in the journey towards a more joyful and content life.
Illustrated by Kristi Yeh1. Self-Compassion
Often, we are our own harshest critics, holding ourselves to impossibly high standards and perceived shortcomings. This is made even more difficult in the age of social media where it is far too easy to compare our everyday parenting life to that of picture-perfect influencers sharing their curated highlight reel of caretaking. Self-compassion is about treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer a dear friend. It involves acknowledging our imperfections, seeing things in a mindful and clear way, and granting ourselves forgiveness when we stumble.
Practicing self-compassion not only enhances our life satisfaction but also fosters resilience when our kids are driving us bonkers. And, self-compassion is not about letting yourself off the hook. If you find yourself yelling at your kids more than you would like, by treating yourself with kindness you are more likely to be able to forgive yourself and figure out your next best step to showing up as a parent in a way that aligns with your values. By cultivating a compassionate inner voice, we can transform the way we relate to ourselves and find greater peace and acceptance within.
To learn more specific ways to practice compassion as a parent, please read the blog posts–”5 Ways to Practice Forgiveness and Self-Compassion” and “7 Benefits of Self-Compassion for Parents and Children.”
My favorite self-compassion meditation for parents is from Christopher Germer: Giving and Receiving Compassion. Find more free meditations and self-compassion exercises on Kristin Neff’s website.
Book Recommendations:
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff
Self-Compassion for Parents: Nurture Your Child by Caring for Yourself by Susan Pollak
Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive by Kristin Neff
The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne-Bryson
2. Snuggles
In a world buzzing with busy schedules and screens, taking time to snuggle up can be incredibly rejuvenating. Whether it's cuddling with a loved one (kid snuggles are the best!), a furry friend, or wrapping yourself in a cozy blanket, snuggling has profound psychological benefits. The warmth and comfort of physical touch release oxytocin, the "love hormone," which reduces stress and promotes a sense of security. Snuggles can also enhance our social connections and reinforce feelings of trust and belonging. You know your kids don’t always want to snuggle, so when they do–put your phone down, take a deep breath, and appreciate the moment.
Hugs are also one of the 7 ways to complete the stress cycle. Learn more from the book summary of Burnout by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski.
3. Sunlight
Nature has a remarkable way of healing us, and sunlight is one of its most potent remedies. Exposure to natural light triggers the release of serotonin, the "happy hormone," which helps alleviate some symptoms of mental health disorders (such as anxiety and depression) and enhances feelings of joy and relaxation. Additionally, sunlight is an essential source of Vitamin D, crucial for bone health and immune function. Stepping outdoors and basking in the sun for a few minutes each day can work wonders for our mental and physical health. So, next time you feel down or lethargic, consider taking a walk outside to soak up some natural rays.
4. Snoozing
Amidst the demands of parenting, sleep is often sacrificed for some much needed “me time” after the kids go to bed. In addition, sleep is simply not within your control if you have young children, children with sleep challenges, or teens that you might be fretting about until they are home safely. Lack of nourishing rest and sleep for sustained periods is harmful for our physical and mental well-being.
So, while sleep and rest might not be the sexiest self-care practices–it’s a foundational part of physical self-care that is worth the investment. During sleep, our bodies repair and rejuvenate themselves, while our brains process emotions and consolidate memories. Prioritizing a consistent sleep routine can improve cognitive function, mood, and overall well-being. Create a peaceful sleep environment, unwind before bedtime, and aim for 7-9 hours of restful sleep each night to reap the full benefits of snoozing.
Illustrated by Kristi YehAnd for tired parents that can’t even dream of that much sleep at night, remember that restful activities still provide nourishment and healing for your bodies. Examples myself and my clients have embraced are resting your eyes for a few minutes, taking breaks from screens and gazing at something green outside, naps, soothing yoga poses, reading, or other soothing activities. If you are interested in this topic, check out my blog for the Peanut app–4 Ways for Exhausted Moms to Get More Rest.
More books about rest and recovering from Burnout on Parent Self-Care’s Bookshop pageIf you are interested in learning more about sleep, check out Matt Walker’s book Why We Sleep and his podcast–The Matt Walker Podcast. I also recommend Suzy Reading’s Rest to Reset for more practical ways to pause with purpose.
5. Self-Advocacy
Advocating for ourselves is an empowering act of self-care. It involves recognizing our needs, setting boundaries, and communicating assertively with others. Self-advocacy allows us to protect our mental and emotional well-being by saying "no" when necessary, seeking support when required, and standing up for our beliefs and values. It is an essential skill for fostering self-respect and maintaining healthy relationships. Embrace self-advocacy as a means of honoring your worth and safeguarding your overall happiness.
Book Recommendations:
Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive by Kristin Neff
Embracing the 5 Ss of self-care - self-compassion, snuggles, sunlight, snoozing, and self-advocacy - is a powerful way to prioritize your well-being. By incorporating these practices into your daily lives, you can build resilience, cultivate calm, and foster a sense of connection and empowerment. Remember, self-care is not selfish; it is the foundation upon which we can thrive, allowing us to show up fully for ourselves and those around us. Take good care of yourselves, parents!
Kristi Yeh is a parent of two, and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has been practicing in California for over ten years. She currently works in school-based mental health at a public elementary and middle school. A part of Kristi’s role entails discussing self-care with parents. Research shows that the better the adults take care of themselves, the healthier our children are at home and school. Yeh is also the author of Self-Care 101: Self-Care Inspiration for Busy Parents.
