Grow Your Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Skills through Journaling
New Guided Journal for Calm, Clarity, Compassion, and Joy
Fourteen years ago, I walked into an introduction to counseling psychology class as a graduate student. My professor was mindfulness expert and author, Shauna Shapiro, PhD. Shapiro taught the basics of nonviolent communication, how to validate clients using non-verbal and verbal communication, and then introduced the class to mindfulness.
Shapiro broke down the concept of mindfulness into three main elements:
Intention. Intention calls on our values to help focus our hearts and minds on the present. As a parent my intention might be to stay present during meals and school drop-offs and pickups. It’s not realistic to be present 24/7, but we can train our brains to become more present over time through intentionality.
Attention. Attention is the practice of training our brain to be present in the here and now. This might come from connecting to our breathing, journaling, positive self-talk, time in nature, yoga, meditation, and more.
Attitude. The attitude in which we pay attention can make a big difference. Shapiro shared the nine attitudes of mindfulness during one of the many courses I took from her in graduate school. These attitudes include patience, trust, acceptance, gratitude, and more. Shapiro highlights the attitude of kindness in her new book, “Good Morning: I Love You: A Guided Journal for Calm, Clarity + Joy.” Paying attention with kindness helps to harness the power of mindfulness and self-compassion. As a parent, it is a gift to practice paying attention to yourself and your children with an attitude of kindness.
As the course continued, we began each class with a guided meditation. I felt uncomfortable, silly, and vulnerable closing my eyes with my classmates and tuning into my breaths. I was skeptical that just meditation could help me feel less stressed and more compassionate. But after a month, I began to see the power of meditation and mindfulness practices (e.g. informal practices of paying attention such as tuning into your five senses while washing the dishes or giving your child a bath). I felt less scattered and better able to take a moment to pause and make the best choice for myself during times of stress or pain. After the class, I ended up taking all of Shapiro’s elective mindfulness courses and began incorporating mindfulness into my work as a therapist.
“The breath is a devoted friend that never leaves your side.”
I’m passionate about mindfulness and self-compassion because I’ve experienced the benefits, and witnessed the profound change in the lives of clients. I took the lessons of presence, clarity, and compassion into each new phase of my life from young adulthood to choosing a life partner, giving birth, and motherhood. My mindfulness practice showed me the beauty in the messy and joyful moments of life, and my goal was no longer to be happy, it was to be more present.
“Mindfulness magnifies life’s inherent joy.”
After the birth of my first child, and practicing as a therapist for about five years, I began to learn more about self-compassion from the book, “Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself,” by Kristin Neff, PhD. Interestingly, tender self-compassion also has three elements, and one of them is mindfulness.
“Mindfulness is more than just moment-to-moment awareness, says Shauna Shapiro. It is a kind, curious awareness that helps us relate to ourselves and others with compassion.”
The other two components of tender self-compassion are self-kindness (which is most commonly associated with self-compassion) and common humanity (our ability to tap into universal human experiences such as being imperfect and experiencing pain).
Shapiro brilliantly weaves together years of work about mindfulness, self-compassion, and other research to bring you the Good Morning, I Love You Guided Journal.
The Journal for Calm, Clarity + Joy Includes:
A three-month roadmap to learning and incorporating mindfulness, breathing, self-compassion, self-acceptance, resilience, forgiveness, joy, and connection practices.
A weekly “deep dive” into a new concept, leading you through morning and evening prompts to help rewire your brain for more calm, clarity, and joy.
Topical, research-based insights combined with inspirational quotes.
The journal is beautifully designed, and simply looking at it elicits a sense of calm. The amount of text is not overwhelming, and you have plenty of writing space to capture your own thoughts. As Shapiro teaches, we can begin again at any moment and rewire our brain to notice the positive, be kinder to ourselves, see clearly, and be more conscious.
“It’s not magic, it’s practice.”
In addition to Shapiro’s work as a professor, she is a mother that has also written a book about mindful parenting. As Shapiro told me, “Children respond more to our state of consciousness than to our words. Learning to cultivate our own presence, compassion, clarity and joy is one of the greatest gifts we can give them.” Is this better?
May this journal provide you with the tools and inspiration to help you claim your calm, compassion, and joy as a parent and human. The journey won’t be linear, but that’s not the goal. The goal is to embrace our human experience with all of its imperfection, and to keep going despite setbacks with an attitude of kindness. After all, that is what so many of us want to model for our children.
“Transforming ourselves creates echoes in the universe.”
Keep reading if you’re eager to learn more about the benefits of journaling, mindfulness, and self-compassion.
Benefits of Journaling
Journaling has many benefits, including: boosting your mood, reducing brooding (getting caught in a negative thought spiral), relieving stress, reducing physical pain, and fostering connection. Much of the journaling research that points to these benefits comes from Professor James Pennebaker. He conducted an oft-cited study where half of an undergrad class journaled and half did not. The half that journaled had fewer visits to student health (1986, 1988). You can read more in Pennebaker’s book, “Expressive Writing: Words that Heal.”
In addition to the general benefits of journaling, Shapiro chose to focus on mindfulness and self-compassion for the new publication. Here are five of my favorite reasons why I choose mindfulness and self-compassion as the foundations of my emotional self-care practice.
5 Benefits of Mindfulness and Self-Compassion
Increases Presence. Life is made up of moments. Coming back to your breath, and noticing what your five senses are experiencing helps you be more conscious of the here-and-now.
Increases Clarity. Mindfulness allows you to see things clearly, without trying to stay stuck in a happy moment or perseverating on a negative one. As much as we want to hold on, no experience, thought, or feeling lasts forever. The ability to pause and connect to the present allows us to see things more clearly.
“When we see clearly, we can respond effectively.”
Decreases Shame. This one is my favorite! Tapping into self-kindness, which can include compassionate words and touch, releases oxytocin. Oxytocin is the feel-good hormone that couples experience through intimate touch or a parent feels when they snuggle their newborn.
Improves Motivation. When you lean on self-kindness after making a mistake, you are much more likely to keep working towards your goals. In contrast, using self-criticism for motivation often leads to burnout, rigidity, and paralyzing perfectionism and procrastination.
Fosters Connection. The more deeply we can access presence, self-compassion, and our common humanityーthe deeper our relationships will be with our loved ones, including our children.
“Feel the web of life into which we are born, from which we can never fall. Feel how you are part of this web. Nothing is separate.
Feel yourself resting in the heart (womb) of the Universe.
Begin to send good wishes to all beings, gently and silently repeating, ‘May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be safe and protected. May all beings be happy. May all beings be filled with love and kindness.’”
Mindfulness + Self-Compassion Resources
Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Journal:
Good Morning, I Love You: A Guided Journal for Calm, Clarity, and Joy by Shauna Shapiro, PhD
Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Book:
Good Morning, I Love You by Shauna Shapiro, PhD
Mindfulness Resources:
The Power of Mindfulness: What You Practice Grows Stronger TEDx Talks by Shauna Shapiro, PhD
Does Mindfulness Make You More Compassionate? by Shauna Shapiro
The Guest House poem by Rumi
An Introduction to Mindfulness for Busy Parents free ebook by Kristi Yeh
Breathing Exercises for the Non-Meditator by Kristi Yeh
Self-Care for the Senses free poster by Kristi Yeh
DIY Mindfulness Activity for Parents and Kids: The Calming Glitter Jar by Kristi Yeh
Self-Compassion Resources:
7 Benefits of Self-Compassion for Children and Parents by Kristi Yeh
The Parents’ Guide to Grace: 5 Ways to Practice Forgiveness + Self-Compassion by Kristi Yeh
Free Meditation Resources:
Mindfulness and Loving Kindness Meditations by Shauna Shapiro, PhD
Self-compassion Recordings from Kristin Neff, PhD
Kristi Yeh is a parent of two, and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has been practicing in California for over ten years. She currently works in school-based mental health at a public elementary and middle school. A part of Kristi’s role entails discussing self-care with parents. Research shows that the better the adults take care of themselves, the healthier our children are at home and school.
