Winter Wellness For Parents: 13 Self-Care Tips For The Holiday Season
Written by Kristi Yeh
Suzy Reading is a psychologist from Australia that specializes in self-care, stress management, and coping with change. She wrote my all-time favorite self-care book for families, “Stand Tall Like a Mountain.” She is also a yoga teacher and personal trainer, so she has specialized knowledge about how to move your body for mental wellness.
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Reading did an Instagram Live last year titled, “How to Look forward to a Winter with COVID,” that inspired me to give a little extra love to my winter self-care plans. The main takeaway from Reading’s talk was the power of investing in activities now that your future self will thank you for, such as creating your own self-care menu for the winter. She wisely pointed out that it is easier to cope in stressful situations if you have tools ready to go versus trying to manage on the fly. We all have fantastic ideas about how to draw on our strengths when we are calm, but they tend to fly out the window in times of stress.
Here are 13 of Reading’s self-care tips, broken out by category, to help parents cope with the unique stressors of the winter season.
Physical Self-Care: Moving for Mental Health
Move for Mental Health, Not For Diet Culture. Dr. Kelly McGonigal’s book, “The Joy of Movement,” gives us a motivating nugget—it only takes three minutes of movement to shift your mood. Dr. McGonigal and Reading both advocate for movement for mental health, and not because of western culture’s unhealthy beauty ideals. Shaking it out to one Taylor Swift song could change the course of your day!
Redefine Your Definition of Movement. Another great resource is Reading’s book, “Sit to Get Fit: Change the Way You Sit in 28 Days for Health, Energy and Longevity.” This book features practical and soothing movements, including many yoga poses, in addition to reducing tech stress as so many of us are spending hours a day on devices. Both Reading and McGonigal recommend moving for about 20 minutes a day to not only boost your mood momentarily, but to see an overall reduction in stress. Reading emphasizes that movement does not necessarily mean sweating, it can include a neighborhood walk or gentle yoga poses.
Check Your Wardrobe. Do you need warmer clothes or new shoes to be able to walk or run outside? If so, invest in yourself and your wellbeing by updating your wardrobe. We often spend most of our money on buying clothes and shoes for the kids, but you deserve to be a part of that clothing budget as well.
Environmental Self-Care: Let’s Get Cozy
The physical environment around us at home and work, impacts our mood. Here are two ways to increase comfort and joy this holiday season.
Self-Care Nook. Winter is a time of coziness, paper books, and hot cocoa. Take it to the next level this year and create your own self-care nook or corner. Collect your favorite self-care items such as: books, candles, a diffuser, lotion, art, plants, and pillows and blankets. Also, if your self-care items are visible instead of tucked away in a drawer, you are more likely to practice self-care on a regular basis.
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Decluttering. A tidy and organized home has been shown to lead to lower stress levels, higher energy, and an increased ability to focus and concentrate. However, you want to set goals for yourself that are realistic. So, whether it’s organizing that junk drawer or clearing the kitchen counter, pick one or two areas to organize as you prepare for the winter months. If this aspect of self-care feels like a chore you would rather not do, Reading recommends reframing the task as nourishing because of how it will impact your mood. I also like to do something fun for myself while I’m cleaning, such as listening to podcasts or music.
Relational Self-Care: Connection, Connection, Connection
Staying connected is essential to mental wellness. We are wired for connection as famed researcher Brené Brown, Ph.D. has helped us understand at an even deeper level.
Here are 4 ways to stay connected to those that you are able to see in person, and those you are not.
Send a Meaningful Text. Search your photos for a picture of a happy memory, and text that person the picture with a thoughtful message.
Snail Mail. Get out some nice stationery and your favorite pen to write someone a real letter! There’s nothing better than getting a letter from a loved one. Younger kids typically like to get in on the fun, and people love receiving original art and barely recognizable words from little ones.
Hugs, Hugs, Hugs. Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski, authors of the book “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle,” highlight the power of hugs. They recommend hugging for about 20 seconds, and provide hug-posture tips—the most meaningful hugs happen when both people are standing over their center instead of leaning over in a way where they might fall if one person stepped back. What you will notice about these recommendations is that if you want to hug a person in this way, they are a person that makes you feel safe and loved.
Check In On Each Other. If you have a friend that might be struggling, check in on them and let them know you are there. Some seasons of parenthood can leave us feeling isolated and overwhelmed, so it is important to check in on your community.
Emotional Self-Care: Tending to Our Emotions in Healthy Ways
Here are 4 ways you can prioritize your mental wellness this holiday season.
Spend Time in Nature. Just like our kids, our ability to regulate our mood greatly improves when we spend time outside. Feeling the air on your skin and changing up our surroundings can reduce stress, increase creativity, and provide experiences of awe. Nature also offers us a different perspective, and somehow our problems feel smaller and our gratitude for the natural beauty of the natural world takes center stage.
“One study tracked the daily movements and mood of over 20,000 adults, using the GPS on their smartphones. After collecting over a million data points, the researchers concluded that people are happier in natural environments. And yet typical Americans spend 93% of their time indoors, creating what some call a nature deficit.”
Make Time for Your Hobbies. Schedule in time for your hobbies as you would a work meeting or getting your child to a doctor’s appointment. This will help keep you connected to your creativity, passions, and joy outside of your role as a parent. Furthermore, many parents tend to focus on creating holiday magic for their kids and end up putting their needs on the backburner for too long. Scheduling time for your hobbies can help you put yourself on top of the priority list sometimes during the winter season.
Self-Compassion. Speaking to yourself as you would a dear friend is the core of self-compassion. If your inner critic is making noise, make room for your compassionate voice to have a seat at the table as well. Kristin Neff, Ph.D., the leading self-compassion researcher, has many wonderful self-compassion exercises on her website, including these guided self-compassion meditation audio recordings.
Learn more by watching Parent Self-Care’s free Mindful Self-Compassion webinar or by reading, The 7 Benefits of Self-Compassion for Children and Parents.
Write It Down. Whether you write it down in a journal or put it in your phone, capture your genius self-care ideas when you are calm. Most of us forget the breadth of our resources in moments of stress or crisis, so having something concrete to look at during tough times is a game changer.
Download your free winter self-care worksheet from Parent Self-Care to help you plan for the holiday season.
Here’s to creating moments of joy and connection this winter season, and being proactive instead of reactive about our well-being. Take good care of yourselves parents, and perhaps watching or reading Game of Thrones will be part of your winter wellness!
Winter Wellness Resources
Enjoy a custom illustrated self-care poster, healthy boundaries webinar, and 10 bonus tips for navigating the holidays mindfully.
These resources are only available to Parent Self-Care email subscribers. Sign up to access these self-care goodies specifically curated for parents.
Videos:
How to Look Forward to a Winter with COVID video by Suzy Reading (13 minutes)
Moving for Mental Health video by by Suzy Reading (17 minutes)
Mindful Self-Compassion webinar by Kristi Yeh, LMFT
Blog Posts:
The Parents’ Guide to Grace: 5 Ways to Practice Forgiveness + Self-Compassion by Kristi Yeh, LMFT
Grow Your Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Skills through Journaling by Kristi Yeh, LMFT
Podcasts:
Unlocking Us podcast interview about completing the stress cycle by Brené Brown, Ph.D.
NPR Life Kit interview with Dr. Devon Price about the power of slowing down (Price authored the book, Laziness Does Not Exist)
Forever 35 Self-Care Podcast
Self-Care Nook Ideas:
Magnesium body butters by Neom organics for soothing fragrances and to nourish dry skin during the winter months
The Little Box of Self-Care: 50 Practices to Sooth the Body and Mind by Suzy Reading (self-care card deck that is ideal for a self-care nook/kit)
The Self-Care Investment: Your Guide to Making Your Self-Care Non-Negotiable by G. Michelle Goodloe (self-care workbook)
Stand Tall Like a Mountain: Mindfulness and Self-Care for Parents and Children by Suzy Reading
20 Products You Need to Create the Ultimate Self-Care Toolkit by Kristi Yeh, LMFT
Kristi Yeh is a parent of two, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and the founder of Parent Self-Care. She currently works in school-based mental health at a public elementary and middle school. A part of Kristi’s role entails discussing self-care with parents. Kristi is also the author of, Self-Care 101: Self-Care Inspiration for Busy Parents.
