Staying Sane While Working From Home
Part 5 of a Five-Part Series: Occupational Self-Care During a Pandemic
Written by Kristi Yeh
It isn’t an accident that writing about occupational self-care during a global health crisis was the last on my list. This spoke in the Wellness Wheel has been the most challenging for me during the past five weeks since our family began sheltering in place. I’m a therapist who loves boundaries, and having a physical office to go to is the main way I transition between my mom life and my work life. I love being able to get into my car and listen to my favorite podcast, or today’s top hits with all the inappropriate language you can’t play while you’re carting your kids around. On really *wild* mornings I stop by Starbucks to get an iced decaf vanilla latte, light ice, okay? I talk to colleagues in complete sentences, and get to connect to that part of myself I’ve known and valued for years before becoming a mother.
Cut to today, I’m listening to podcasts during stolen moments if my younger child naps or after they’re in bed. Lizzo has been replaced by the Frozen II soundtrack, and my homemade coffee is less tasty and now infused with caffeine. I’m fantasizing about young people without children who are at home doing yoga every day, and finishing Netflix.
And while I vacillate between grief for my former working life, and acceptance of our new reality, here are some things that are helping me function (read: surviving not thriving!) during these unprecedented times of parenting and working simultaneously, 24/7. Although there are no lines anymore between work and home, you can still set some boundaries that will help keep you mentally healthier during these times.
Occupational Self-Care
Radically Realistic Expectations. This has been the most effective strategy for me, because as much as I may want to perform at the level I did before we began sheltering in place, it isn’t possible. Instead of setting myself up for feeling like a failure at work, I’m reminding myself to be realistic and kind to myself. I have reached out to my boss and colleagues to share what I think I can do at home, while leaving the conversation open-ended to adjust as I move through uncharted waters, just like everyone else.
Remembering Our Common Humanity. When I get overwhelmed and start comparing my situation to others that don’t have children at home, or have children coming back from college, I remind myself of our common humanity. Everyone has challenges and struggles related to the Coronavirus. I am not unique, and I take solace in knowing I’m not alone. I feel grateful for the understanding, support, and empathy of my manager and colleagues, and I hope others are experiencing that as well.
Create A Separate Workspace. No matter how small your space is, I know working parents are getting creative. I’m seeing on social media how people are even working from their bathrooms, because you can lock the door and have privacy! I have a couple spots picked out at home, because depending on which child actually sleeps or needs a break from their sibling, I need to have more than one spot to go to.
Set Your Schedule. It may help you to manage expectations with work by sharing what times of the day you think you will be more available. Some parents are working before or after bedtime, so they can get into the flow with fewer interruptions. If you have a partner you can coordinate calendars, so that you each have a couple blocks in the day where you can more reliably focus.
Get Dressed for Work. I know for me, getting dressed for work is a surefire way to get into the work mindset. This is a very popular working from home strategy; however, if I’m honest I only do this a couple times a week when I have important video conference calls. If I’m going to be working from home with no childcare, sometimes the bright spot for me is getting more sleep or self-care time by cutting back on my getting-ready routine. I’ve done many Zoom calls with a dab of concealer, some earrings or a scarf (that’s my big “see I tried” secret weapon), a casual but professional top, and then my rattiest and most comfy sweats. You do you boo.
Lean on Your Support System. Working from home without childcare has been the biggest daily stressor for me during this time. I’m leaning on my friends and family to vent, download, or swap tips to help me cope. Connecting with our support system reminds us that we are not alone, and helps to build resilience during trying times.
I hope you found something here that will help you as you adjust your self-care routine during a time of crisis. May you live with ease, may you be healthy, may you be free from suffering.
If you want to revisit or missed any of the earlier posts in this series, read more here:
8 Self-Care Ideas for Parents During the Coronavirus (Emotional Self-Care)
8 Ways to Stay Connected While Sheltering in Place (Social or Relational Self-Care)
10 Ways to Care for Our Bodies and Living Space During a Quarantine (Physical and Environmental Self-Care)
Intellectual Stimulation and Spirituality During Times of Social Distancing (Intellectual, Cultural, and Spiritual Self-Care)
WFH Resources:
WorkLife Podcast with Adam Grant. The episode, “When Work Takes Over Your Life,” with Arianna Huffington is especially pertinent to our current times. Everyone has a different comfort level with blurring the lines between work and home, and technology is pulling us all more in that direction regardless of our preference. However, Grant and Huffington discuss the importance of boundaries for all in addition to some concrete tips.
Free At-Home Self-Care Guide for Life During a Public Health Crisis
