8 Ways to Stay Connected While Sheltering in Place
Part 2 of a 5-Part Series: Social or Relational Self-Care
As more and more of the country is being asked to shelter in place, and the entire country is being asked to practice social distancing, social self-care feels more important than ever before. Internationally recognized trauma expert and clinical psychologist, Dr. Peter Levine recently said, “Physical distancing can save your life and the lives of others. Social distancing can depress it. Please stay connected during this time.”
This is the second post in a five-part series about practical self-care during the Coronavirus. The first post addressed emotional self-care. The next post will discuss physical and environmental self-care, and the fourth post will explore intellectual, cultural, and spiritual self-care. Lastly, the fifth post will address occupational self-care.
Social or Relational Self-Care. Many of us have even less contact with the outside world than we did when we had a newborn. Personally, one of the hardest parts of having a baby was not being able to see my friends as much as I did before kids. I had to get creative to stay connected, and although it wasn’t as satisfying as fantastic in-person conversations and laughs, it was better than nothing!
Staying Connected to Loved Ones. While social self-care often emphasizes the importance of connecting in person, this is a time I am profoundly grateful for technology.
Get Out Your Phone. Now is the time to call, text, FaceTime or get on Marco Polo or social media.
Virtual Gatherings. Many people are scheduling virtual happy hours or chats with friends using Zoom or Google Hangouts.
Chat Up Your Neighbors. I’ve talked to many new people while outside on walks with my children. In the past, I wouldn’t have struck up a conversation, but we are united in feeling more isolated right now and there’s a desire to connect. It’s been surprising how much I’ve enjoyed these interactions—they are small gems in the day. As much as I value my loved ones, talking to most of them virtually leaves me still wanting that in-person connection, even if it is at a six foot distance with a stranger.
Staying Connected to Your Partner. The lines between work and home are not just blurred, they’re non-existent. However, you can still nurture your relationship within the confines of your living space.
The Six-Second Kiss. Try to mindfully greet your partner at the beginning and end of the day by pausing, looking them in the eye, and giving them a hug or kiss for six seconds. Be sure to put your phone down, and try to follow up with your partner about something you knew was important to them that day. This may also help bring a sense of connection to our lives before Corona quarantines, when greetings and reunions were marked by someone leaving or coming back from the office. “The six-second kiss” activity was created by the famous power couple, and relationship psychologists Julie and John Gottman. You can read more on their blog about the importance of greetings and reunions for couples and their long-term relationship satisfaction.
20 Minute Download. Once the house quiets down, take 20 minutes to connect without your devices. Download about your day, and check in with each other about how you are feeling about the Coronavirus outbreak. We all handle stress and change differently, so checking in on a regular basis can help increase empathy and other positive feelings towards each other.
Date Night In. You’re stuck in the house, but that doesn’t mean dating has to stop. Time to get out a glass of wine, cards, or queue up a movie you two have been wanting to watch for a while. Hint: Snuggle up for movie time and challenge yourselves to watch it without scrolling on your phone!
Conversation Starters. You could also use this time to have some of the conversations we usually bypass due to our typically hectic lives. If you want some inspiration you can check out the Gottman’s app Gottman Card Decks or their new book, Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. They also have a biweekly newsletter with various date ideas, conversation starters, and tips for managing conflict. What could go wrong when two people raising humans are quarantined together working and parenting?
Love Languages. If you haven’t checked out Dr. Gary Chapman’s Love Languages work, this is a quick quiz that helps you learn more about you and your partner’s Love Languages. Do you show and receive love through acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, or physical touch? Hint: you can have more than one Love Language. They even have the quiz for children and teens, and it can be a great way to deepen your relationship with your child.
Check back soon for the next blog post on physical and environmental self-care, or if you want more inspiration for your romantic relationship you can read, “8 Ways to Not Hate Your Partner During COVID 19.” Until then, may you live with ease, may you be healthy, and may you be free from suffering.
