Digital Wellness in The Age of Screens for Parents: 14 Ways to Create Healthy Boundaries with Technology
Written by Kristi Yeh, LMFT
I am always looking for new ways to take mindful breaks from my phone. Spending too much time with devices goes against my value of connecting with the world around me, being more present for life’s little moments, and getting nourishing sleep. However, this is much easier said than done. As Bj Fogg, PhD talks about in his book “Tiny Habits,” start small and start where you can have success. I know I should unplug one hour before bed, but I don't really do that more than once or twice a week. However, I can unplug for 20-30 minutes before bed by replacing my phone with a good book, so I am celebrating that success and focusing on adding more digital self-care habits later.
Here are ten digital wellness ideas that have helped me and the clients I have worked with over the years.
10 Digital Self-Care Ideas
Change your phone to grayscale. The rich colors on our smartphones keep us hooked. If you change it to grayscale mode, scrolling becomes much less appealing. Follow these steps to learn how to put your phone to grayscale mode.
Check your screen time statistics and set app time limitations. You can set goals with your app limits and track your screen time. You can also see what apps are taking the most time. If I see a huge spike in social media, it’s something I want to curb. But, if I see most of my time is spent on audiobooks, music, meditation apps, or podcasts then I don’t mind. It’s also helpful to turn off notifications on social media or news apps that are tempting to check.
Set up wifi restriction access on your phone. On some internet/cable services, the app allows you to set times of the day when the wifi goes off, or you can simply turn it on and off from your phone whenever you desire. This is helpful if you have teens in the home as well.
Leave your phone at home sometimes. If I’m walking for coffee, or taking the kids to the park by foot then I try to leave my phone at home. If I don’t, it’s too tempting to be on Instagram or take way too many photos of them! If you’re nervous about not having a phone and there’s another adult on the outing, have them bring their phone so you can leave yours at home.
Put your phone in the backseat when you are driving. Texting and driving is dangerous, and yet most of us do it from time to time. I heard this tip on a news show, and have tried to use it more often. Taking away access is really helpful sometimes.
Turn off your phone and put it in a hard to reach place, and set your oven timer for 30 minutes
Charge your phone outside of your room while you sleep. There’s some part of me that just can’t trust an alarm clock, so sometimes I leave my phone on the floor right outside my bedroom so it’s not nearby, but I can still use it as an alarm. Of course, an alarm clock is a great option as well.
Designate a break area for devices. They have beach chairs you can put your phone in to “relax,” or a “charging bed” for tablets and phones to sleep in overnight. You don’t need to buy something, a drawer or basket to toss devices in works just fine.
Think about things that you enjoy that are not digital. Instead of limiting yourself, or spending time thinking about how you can get off your phone, because then you might just be thinking about your phone more, try making a list of the things you love doing so much that you would pick it over phone time. This might be journaling by hand, drawing or other creative projects, reading a paper book, gardening, etc. Download this FREE worksheet to identify scrolling alternatives.
Remember you are the tech role model for your kids. You teach more through your actions than your words. If you tell the kids they cannot have devices at dinnertime, you should also put your devices down. Talk about your values as a family regarding technology so you can move forward with more intention and cohesion as a unit.
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Digital Self-Care for Couples by The Gottman Institute
I also drew some couples tips for navigating social media by leading couples’ research organization, The Gottman Institute. These tips focus on navigating social media as a team to build trust instead of fostering jealousy and insecurity.
4 Ways to Navigate Social Media as a Couple
Spend quality time together without social media
Ask your partner before posting about them on social media
Avoid snooping and give them the benefit of the doubt
Keep the lines of communication open about social media in your relationship
If you want more information on this topic, read the post by Kari Rusnak, LPC on The Gottman Institute blog and subscribe to their free weekly newsletter.
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
Resources
Books About Digital Wellness:
How to Break Up With Your Phone: The 30-Day Plan to Take Back Your Life by Catherine Price
The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again by Catherine Price (FREE handout + worksheet)
24/6: Giving Up Screens One Day a Week to Get More Time, Creativity, and Connection by Tiffany Shlain
Sit to Get Fit: Change the Way You Sit in 28 Days for Health, Energy and Longevity by Suzy Reading
Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything by Bj Fogg
Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention—And How to Think Deeply Again by Johann Hari
Rest to Reset: A Busy Person’s Guide to Pausing with Purpose by Suzy Reading
Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker
Websites and Guides About Digital Wellness:
Common Sense Media for parents
Social Media and Youth Mental Health by the U.S. Surgeon General
Wait Until 8th for social media
2022 Family Digital Wellness Guide by Boston Children’s Hospital and Harvard Medical School
Articles About Digital Wellness:
The Best Parental Control Apps by Ellen Lee (NYT)
Age that kids acquire mobile phones not linked to well-being, says Stanford Medicine study by Erin Digitale
What Makes Technology Good or Bad For Us? by Jenna Clark (UC Berkeley Greater Good Magazine)
Price is the author of How to Break Up With Your Phone and The Power of Fun. Prices shares that binging TV shows or mindless scrolling is likely fake fun—leaving you feeling numb and drained. But, Price shares how to add more playfulness, connection, and flow into your life—which helps you reset your relationship with technology and bring more true fun into your life.
Helping Teens Cope in the Digital Age podcast
Podcast discussion based on an article by David Leonhardt in the New York Times. On the Phone, Alone: We take a look at the mental health crisis facing adolescents--and the role of digital technology (May 10, 2022).
Podcast discussion based on an article by David Leonhardt in the New York Times. On the Phone, Alone: We take a look at the mental health crisis facing adolescents--and the role of digital technology (May 10, 2022).
Parenting Presentation About Tweens and Tech
Check out a parent workshop I did about digital wellness, gaming, getting your first phone, the power of true fun + more resources to help you navigate tech with tweens and teens. Presented in February of 2023.
Parenting Presentation about Digital Safety and Wellness
I put together a presentation about keeping kids safe online during distance learning that has many wonderful digital self-care resources for families. You can access this presentation for free.
Kristi Yeh is a parent of two, and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has been practicing in California for over ten years. She currently works in school-based mental health at a public elementary and middle school. A part of Kristi’s role entails discussing self-care with parents. Research shows that the better the adults take care of themselves, the healthier our children are at home and school. 