Using Music for Self-Care: How Music Can Help Parents and Children Regulate Their Emotions and Experience More Joy
Written by Monique Bathis, RMT
I’m excited to share this guest blog post and interview about how to use music for self-care.
Monique Bathis is a music therapist with over a decade of experience working in the acute pediatric setting, disability sector and private practice. More recently, Monique has been working with parents, specifically Mothers, guiding them to reconnect and rediscover themselves through creative modalities.
Q: How do you use music for self-care when you’re not with your kids?
A: There are so many ways I incorporate music into my day-to-day self care and it all depends on how much time I have to myself with how I include it. I always use music in my morning routine which is usually as simple as taking some slow breaths and exhaling to an open vowel sound like “ahh” or to the sound “omm.” I often sing affirmations as well as part of my morning routine. I have a deck of self-love positive affirmations to inspire me or come up with my own. Throughout the day I often listen to music, move to music and sing, and if I have more time on my hands, I get my guitar out and have a jam (this one is definitely something that only happens maybe once a week).
Q: How do you use music to take care of yourself when you are with your kids (whether you are feeling stressed, playful, etc.)?
A: Music is such a beautiful way to not only connect with ourselves but also with others, especially our children. Sometimes the kids and I will have a jam together with various instruments (I have a lot at home from my therapy sessions), or we might have a dance party and sing-a-long in the living room to get any built up energy out and tap into the sensory systems. Other times, I might put some calming music on if I’m feeling heightened or the kids are wound up or even while I’m in the kitchen and the kids are playing. It’s amazing to see by just having some music playing in the background how it can shift the whole energy of the room!
Q: What is something you think most people wouldn’t know about the connection between music and mental health?
A: Music is one of the only things that simultaneously stimulates all areas of the brain, which is incredible! So of course, it is going to have an impact on our mental wellness as it activates our limbic system (emotional brain). Which is why we often have strong memories associated with particular songs. And because it also affects our nervous system, we can use music as a tool to help us feel calm, soothed and grounded AND on the other end of the spectrum to boost our mood and energy, as chemicals such as endorphins (our happy hormones) and dopamine (linked to motivation) are released when we engaged in and listen to music.
The brain loves predictability as it helps us to feel safe. And music and the songs we listen to are predictable (generally having a couple of verses and choruses that repeat). So when we are listening to songs that we know and like, we will feel comfort and safety in that as we can anticipate what is coming next in the song. Which in turn, helps to alleviate stress and anxiety.
6 Ways to Use Music in Your Self-Care Routine:
Deep breathing and/or exhaling to an open vowel sound like “ahh” or to the sound “omm” is a musical practice.
Sing affirmations by yourself and/or with your kids.
Shake out frustrations and stress by having a dance party by yourself and/or with your kids.
Turn on an upbeat song to boost dopamine and your overall mood.
Listen to a song you are familiar with to lower stress levels. You will feel safer and comforted because your brain can anticipate what is coming next.
Make, play and/or sing music as a creative outlet. Creative expression is one way to complete the stress cycle.
I hope this post gives you some musical inspiration for the family’s self-care routine. Whether it’s parenting through a pandemic or navigating the back-to-school transition, we can all use some comforting and predictable songs to help us feel safe and grounded.
Monique Bathis is passionate about using music, movement, meditation and sound healing to support emotional regulation for both Mothers and their children, so that they can live life from a space of connection, joy and peace.
Connect with Monique:
Join the Harmony Co. Membership for women
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Kristi Yeh is a parent of two, and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has been practicing in California for over ten years. She currently works in school-based mental health at a public elementary and middle school. A part of Kristi’s role entails discussing self-care with parents. Research shows that the better the adults take care of themselves, the healthier our children are at home and school.
