5 Tips to Help Parents Be Kind to Their Bodies

In addition to my work with parents and in school-based mental health, I also spent over five years treating teens and adults in recovery from eating related disorders. During that time I developed a passion for challenging diet culture, and celebrating each person’s inherent strengths and beauty that have nothing to do with their appearance.

Whether it’s pressure to gain a certain amount of weight during pregnancy or to lose the baby weight, women are inundated with a celebrity culture that is obsessed with thinness over health. Fathers are not exempt from this pressure as well. If a man’s body changes as he ages and starts a family, he might be teased for having a “dad bod.” Society’s unrealistic standards of attractiveness can trigger stress, anxiety, and pain.

If you feel angry about the unnecessary and unhealthy messages you have received about beauty, that’s great! Anger is an emotion that can be activating and motivating. And, cultivating a healthy and loving relationship with your body is an exciting act of resistance.

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Here are 5 Tips to Help You Cultivate a Healthy Relationship with Your Body:

Donate Clothes that Don’t Fit. Things have energy. If you are holding on to old clothes, try donating some and see if you feel any different. Our bodies weren’t designed to stay the same size forever, and there’s fun and fabulous clothes to be worn at any size. A potential motivator can be that you are donating the clothes to someone in need.
Avoid Comparisons. There’s an old and true saying, “compare and despair.” Jealousy is a natural human emotion, so the first step is to acknowledge the feeling without judgement. Then you might try creating a mantra you can use when it arises. For example, “there’s no upside for me when I compare, and who even knows if my comparison is accurate?”
Practice Self-Compassion. Self-compassion is about speaking to yourself as you would a dear friend. For example, if you notice yourself thinking a critical thought about your body you could say, “I’m sorry I spoke to you so harshly body, you don’t deserve that.”
What Could I Do With That Time? We all value something that isn’t dependent on our outer appearance. Ask yourself what you could do with the time you spend thinking critically about your body. Then brainstorm a list. It could include hobbies, passion projects, volunteer work, time with friends, meditation, etc.
Write a Thank You Letter. Try writing a letter of gratitude for everything your body does for you that you appreciate. It could be the strength to lift your kids, the ability to play your favorite sport, or a soft spot for your kids to snuggle. I would recommend actually writing these appreciations down instead of just thinking about them. Writing can add an extra level of awareness and gratitude.

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If you struggle with negative thoughts and emotions related to your body image, challenging these thoughts and feelings is emotional self-care. In addition, we know that kids learn more from what we do versus what we say, so if you need that extra push to be kind to your body, remind yourself how much the next generation of children will benefit from your positive example.

Body image struggles can be complicated, but there are many qualified mental health clinicians, dietitians, and physicals that can help. See below for a list of resources if you are looking for support along your path to a respectful and healthy relationship with your body.

Mental Health Providers Directories:

Online Course: